Sweet Surrender

A Bad Morning

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 01:57:03 GMT

Today was not exactly a good day... not by a long shot. An elderly woman passed away this morning, and being a Nurse Aide, one job that isn't the greatest is preparing said dead woman. We had to wash her up, make her beautiful, and then, after she was viewed by her family, we wrapped her in a shroud and took her to the morgue.

And that, was just my morning.

The rest of my day went quickly. I received a call from the Personal Care Home, I'm still an employee. That's good, and bad. I believe that Chad's loan went through, but I don't know for certain and I don't want to jinx it. We're keeping our fingers crossed.

Well, thats all for now. Happy April Fool's Day!

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:38:48 GMT

Well peeps, I did a crazy thing yesterday. I went to work at the county home 8-4, like always; then I went to work at the personal care home from 4:15 til 8pm. Now, there are a two girls there that have been giving me nothing but grief and aggravation since Day 1... well, one of them started there shit again, and I simply decided that I just didn't get paid enough to put up with her shit; so, I grabbed my stuff and walked out (at 5:30). =o0 I like the fact that I don't have to deal with those bitches anymore, but I really liked working there. Oh well, I guess I will get over it!

As for the myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/If_I_know_me
Like I said, its nothing fancy. =o)

Chad and I went to fill out the loan papers on the 26th (Angela's b-day). Now, we just have to sit back and wait. (Afterall, who can relax?) We so need to get the hell out of this house. My uncle is acting very strange and frankly, I just don't feel like I can relax around the house, and it makes me uneasy.

That's all for now, there's a baby downstairs that I must go see.

Ang is 21!!!

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 20:42:18 GMT

Happy (Belated) Birthday darling! (Did you get my text early in the morn?)

I'm starting a page at myspace.com; if anyone wants to check it out. it's new, and nothing special so don't feel obligated. LOL.

Thats all for now, I'm going to jump into the shower, I think.

Colostomy change?!?

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 21:57:01 GMT

Chad and I have placed a bid on a house. Wish us luck guys!

I have come to figure out that my new job will not give me weekends off for a whole month. That bites some majorly huge ass balls! Not to mention, that I'm trying to work in two different places... its not so easy, anymore. My feet are killing me; even as I sit at the computer, they are throbbing.

I changed my first colostomy bag today! (Cat-ate-the-canary grin) It was fowl smelling and nasty, but I did a super job! =o) And, I think I'm gunna give up chocolate. =oP

Tomorrow is payday, which is good; I'm broke and in need of cash. Some more good news is that I get paid again, on Wednesday. =o) Perhaps working two jobs will pay off?

That's all I can think of for now... I'm gunna go prop my feet up and pray that no one bothers me for atleast fifteen minutes. Lata!

A Long and Overdue Update

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 22:12:58 GMT

Oh my goodness! I can't remember the last time I was on here.... thats pretty bad.

Chad and I are looking at houses... yes, Ang, I've considered it. He makes me very happy and I'm truly grateful to have him in my life. Nothing is certain yet, so don't fret too much. As for a house payment, think of it like rent, but we'll own it afterwards. =o)

I've started another job, working with the elderly at the county home. It's an okay job, at times. It gives me evenings off, so I still work at the personal care home. AHHHH!!!!

I've been extremely busy lately. But I still miss all my Michigan buddies... I haven't forgotten about yens!!!!

My Test Score for Julianne

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 03:21:45 GMT

Your Type is
ESTJ
Extroverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Strength of the preferences %
11 50 12 22

ESTJ type description by D.Keirsey
ESTJ type description by J. Butt

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:
slightly expressed extrovert

moderately expressed sensing personality

slightly expressed thinking personality

slightly expressed judging personality

One For The Thumb!!!

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 15:46:55 GMT

Steelers won SuperBowl 40 (XL)!!! 21 to 10. Finally achieving that "one for the thumb." Victory is sweet, especially in Detroit.

How are the Pistons doing??? Last I heard, they won 39 out of their 45 games so far. Go Pistons!

I am relieved. I talked to my dad today and am feeling good. That's all for now, I have to get ready to shower and shit.

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 19:51:34 GMT

Dispite a minor "oops" earlier in the week, I am doing extremely well... I almost burnt the old folks' home down! Who knew I'd be blonde enough to put a pot holder on an electric (and very on) burner? Thus, I earned the nickname 'Pyro'. Thank goodness the fire alarms didn't go off... could yens imagine almost 40 old people with walkers rushing to the doors? Complete and utter chaos!

With the above situation forgotten, I am pretty excited!

My CNA class starts February 8th. I went out and bought scrubs and clean white shoes. (Boy, will I look dorky in clean white shoes in the middle of mud season? Especially since I'm used to looking at my feet with boots on.) I am starting school/class and finally doing well.

The weather here is beautiful today. It's hard to believe that a few days ago, it snowed a few inches. =o)

I got my work schedule and amazingly, I don't work Super Bowl Sunday. (GO STEELERS!) I went and bought a Steelers shirt... it says, "If you ain't a Steelers fan, you ain't Shit!" I love it. =o) There will be a Super Bowl Party at my grams, I believe. Party! So, who is everyone rooting for?!? I've heard that, due to the Super Bowl, there will actually be cops in Detroit... guess those city tax-payers will finally stop complainning. hehe.

Chad and I might be moving in together. At first, I was scared, petrified even; however, Chad and I discussed it, and well, I'm excited about that too. =o) Life is going pretty good. Not too mention, the house we thought was no longer for sale, may just still be! =o) (Yay!)

The only thing that puts a damper on my mood is knowing that I have taxes to do. =oP

Pittsburgh's Going to the Super Bowl!!!

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 16:41:13 GMT

I have an interview for the CNA class today. =o) I'm a lil tired, but otherwise okay. I spent all day yesterday rearranging furniture in my bedroom and cleaning a turtle tank. The room looks good, we seem to have more space and later, I'm cleaning out my closet.

Steelers won the game last night... so Pittsburgh's going to the Super Bowl. (Here We Go!) I'm hoping that maybe Chad and I will come up to 'tailgate'. hehe.

Speaking of Chad, there's been talks of marriage and buying a house. Later today, when Chad gets off of work, we are going to look at this one house we saw up for sale. Its in the process of being remodelled... not something I know anything about, but Chad does and I guess thats all that matters.

I missed the Auto Show this year. =o( That bums me out; however, Pittsburgh had World of Wheels or something, and I still didn't go. I'm trying to see about going to Monster Jam- you know, monster trucks destroying shit... pretty damn cool, if you wanna know the truth. This is the last year they will be at the SilverDome, or so I've heard.

Well, thats all the news for now. Hopefully I'll be there to root on the Steelers at Super Bowl 40.

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 18:05:41 GMT

Today is "What"'s 20th birthday. Anyways, not much new here... I have been feeling very fat the past couple of days... I need some exercise. That's all for now... I have to get ready for work. =oP

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 01:50:07 GMT

I talked to Jason (aka: "WHAT?!") last night and today. It felt really good to talk to him again.

Tomorrow is my day off, thank goodness, and I'm babysitting. No biggie though, cuz I will accomplish laundry, cleaning, and loads of other things I didn't get around to.

Yesterday, despite working til 11pm, was a great day; today is an okay day... and hopefully, tomorrow will be better. =o)

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 16:30:41 GMT

Goodness, how long has it been since I've been on a computer?! Almost a week, I think. I'm feeling pretty low today. I feel like I should just crawl back into bed and only wake up when absolutely necessary.

Today, I checked my email and received one from a certain person. I believe that is what put me into my shitty mood. I am trying not to let such trivial things and minute people get to me... but I know how Angela feels... if he is all you've known for so long, it is hard. And, even though it doesn't seem like it right now, it will get easier. Just don't be afraid; live life and remember, if you don't do it, you'll always wonder, "what if?". I am very proud of myself for not replying. =o) (Secret #2: Take pride/celebrate little steps/things.) I often wonder why I think of that person at all... then I realize that we never said "goodbye"; we left things up in the air, so to speak. Maybe, some closure will help... but I don't think I'm ready to dial those digits just yet. Maybe, I will email them my closure... after posting it and getting feedback. What yens think?

It's Lindsay's 21st birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (now she is an old fart too!)

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 18:37:27 GMT

I received a call this morning... my CNA class may start in February. I'm pretty excited, relieved and a little scared.

I'm feeling loads better and am spending my day off rearranging furniture in my room (that'll be Sunday).

I've made a few resolutions, but don't know if they will stick throughout 2006. I'd like to start eating better, drinking less pop, and not stressing out so damn much. Yens can only imagine me stressing out over something so little and trivial... pathetic, I know.

I got my hair cut, and now, I'm not liking it. =oP I'm thinking of dyeing it, but everyone says I should just leave it be. Any suggestions?

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 02:37:41 GMT

Hey peeps! I've been fairly stressed out lately... and a little sick. I'm getting better slowly, I think.

I can't help feeling like a failure of sorts these past few days. I missed the deadline for the nursing program here, and I am not telling a soul in my family... they would all bitch at me, and that is something I cannot take at the moment. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, failing. I'm sick of everything, and almost everyone....

How was everyone's New Year? What's your resolution?

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 01:50:46 GMT

I can't say I'm in the Christmas spirit. I was earlier, I swear, but now, I don't care. I feel terrible, and I'm not sure why. I feel unloved and unwanted. I think moving here was a horrible idea... but its already been done.

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 18:59:54 GMT

I'm back to the grinding wheel of work... I feel like a work-aholic. Oh well. My mother flies in tomorrow. I'm excited, 'cept I gotta work til 9pm. My aunt thinks I should spend the night with my mom and sister (at sister's place). Apparently, no one other than me goes crazy when they spend time with their sister. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but I can only handle so much of my sister, and I prefer small doses of it. Driving to Michigan to get my brother, which is about 6 hours one way, was a little too much too close to the holidays. =oP

Felt sick to my stomach last night. Damn green veggies!

Tips for Women

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 17:29:36 GMT

My mother emailed me this, and needless to say, I think it is true... to a point. Hell, if yens are lucky enough to find one man that'll do everything, then I say do everything not to blow it and lose him.

Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

I prolly won't be on here much before Christmas eve, because I have to work. I got kicked out of the kitchen the other night so my b/f could show my aunt what he obtained for me for the holiday. I agree with Julianne on that... spending 1000s is not the meaning of Christmas, and I think that society has lost that, a long time ago. That said, Merry Holidays, and Happy New Year!

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 02:23:17 GMT

I drive in to Michigan tomorrow. I'm pretty damn excited. Work was crazy; I got stuck there an extra half-hour because of an old lady had a puking problem. It was... akward. We fed her potato soup for supper, yet she barfed up green shit (not literal shit), and carrots! Gross! And it reeked, and stunk up the room. Gag!

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 16:23:40 GMT

I haven't updated in a long ass time. Sorry bout that. Life's been pretty shitty with my two parents duking it out for my brother, putting me in the middle. I can't say that I've been sleeping good; except the last two nights seemed fairly decent. For some strange reason I keep waking up at two or three in the morning... I blame someone for stealing the covers and allowing me to freeze my ass off. (GRRRR) LOL.

My aunt thinks that because I've been so "down" lately, that I should go on antidepressants. Needless to say, I totally disagree. Anyone in my situation would feel down. Afterall, how many fathers DON'T want their daughter home for Christmas? I've got a few more gifts to buy... and my mother flies in from Florida in one week. I look forward to seeing her.

I guess thats all for now. There isn't much more to say.

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 02:33:55 GMT

This one will be quick guys. I'm picking up my brother Sunday, the 18th and driving home the 19th, but not til after he's outta school. Since school is out, i'm game for anything while my dad is sleeping... seeing as how i'd like to see him alittle. (strange, i know). as for the impending holidays, "Merry Holidays and Shit" (I'm in a baaa-humbug kinda mood; sorry to piss anyone off). Lata.

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 16:16:59 GMT

My father called me up bitching at me; for no apparent reason. What a great thing to wake up to! Not to mention, I made Chad late for work. (Oops!) Stupid hick boys cannot operate an alarm clock. LOL.

I helped my aunt put up her tree. Needless to say, I'm still not in the Christmas spirit. I feel like Scrooge. ARRGG!

I still have plenty of Christmas shopping to do. =oP

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 14:58:27 GMT

I'm still in Pa, thanks to S.o.B. (shortness of breath) and difficulty breathing. i'm feeling a lil better today, but not too much. we got dumped on, and by that i mean 6 inches of cold white shit that fell from the sky. i hate snow. not to mention it is very fucking windy. Blah. its a shitty day.

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 14:03:41 GMT

I am utterly exhausted. I cried alot last night and am unsure about whether or not I should go to Michigan tomorrow. I'd like to see my dad but I just don't know. According to Chad we are suppose to get a big snow storm on Friday. And, it'd only be for two days. I didn't sleep well last night. I'd like to go get pampered today, before work but I'm not feeling very motivated. Blah!

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 19:46:57 GMT

I read Natalie's lj and in it she mentions those shows we used to watch. It reminded me of the last get-together where I saw almost everyone... in the park playing TV tag. Nothing like a bunch of out-of-shape twenty-year-olds chasing people trying to remember shows like Fraggle Rock, Under the Umbrella Tree, or Animaniacs; and then you got the people who hide behind trees to scare people, make them laugh and almost piss their pants. Life is funny. =o)

Its snowing here... and its not suppose to stop. (sarcastic "Joy") I have to work in about an hour. ('nother sarcastic "Joy")

I'm depressed, my toes are cold, and I wanna sleep. =oP Later.

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 00:08:28 GMT

Oh my Goodness! Thank goodness for karate class for 5yr olds! My cousin was driving me crazy, and now the damn dog Bubbles won't stop barking (and all because she can't find me!) AHHH!

Anyways, things here are pretty good, I guess (aside from going crazy). I can't believe its December already. I'm kinda antsy... if that makes any sense. According to my uncle, its suppose to snow all night. I really hate snow; yeah, its pretty in the mountains, but a bitch to drive in. On Monday, I meet with a few important people to sign up for a Certified Nurse's Aide class. I am looking forward to being back in school. =o) Yes, I am that nerdy!

Chad is going to trade-in his beautiful Dodge Ram for a Lancer. Whatever floats his boat; atleast he'll save on gas and shit. Personally, I like trucks.

I'm going through a period of depression. Its been pretty dreary here lately, and I'd like to blame the weather. However, I'm not really sure. I just feel low, like I've been run off the road, down a ditch, and am just laying there... fully knowing that all I have to do is move and I'll be fine. I guess I lack the motivation. Truth is, I'm starting to wonder why the fuck I moved here. I'm not doing anything significant: I am not going to school (which was my reason for moving down here), I have a lousy-ass job, and no friends (just two). I've sacrificed more than Pa was worth, and I regret it, to a point.

Ang, I know what you mean about love and that one particular person.

Well, thats all I can think of for now. I guess I will update more later.